Jim then grew bold and declared loudly, "I am the great and powerful Zuel! And I shall make
you pay for this grave offense! Fall now to your knees and beg forgiveness!"
He looked quizzically at Jim, "Zuel?" he said, "The God of incontinence?"
They had a God of incontinence? What the hell kind of a place is this? "Yes!" Jim declared, "The very same! Now release me or all of your trive shall be stricken with permanent incontinence for a thousand generations!"
"I'm afraid we beat you to it. According to your commandments we have lived all our lives allowing what flows from our bodies to land where it may." Almost to prove his point, a lump of shit fell from between his legs. Disgusting. "Will you not join in the defacation, lord Zuel?"
Jim was absolutely stunned. What the fuck was going on right now? "I'm sorry?"
"Have I offended my lord that he will not excrete with me?"
"I'm sorry, I didn't realize it happened on command."
"Are you not the God you claimed to be? The great Zuel could will himself and all around him to excrete upon his command."
And you thought Scientology was weird. "Yes," Jin said blankly, "of course I can... I am Zuel... but you've gravely offended me. Now untie me or I'll... clog up all your bowels... or some shit- I mean- thing... oh who cares, can I go now?"
The man bowed low and went round behind Jim to untie him, "Of course, great Zuel. We shall prepare the golden lake to send you back to the land of the Gods!"
"Oh, fuck that noise, I'm walking." Jim thanked his own God that these whack-jobs bought his ruse hook line and sinker. Now he just had to hold his nose on the way out. Suddenly though, he felt a slight cramping in his stomach. He suddenly realized he had to... oh dear, "Hey is there a..." he stopped. Of course there wouldn't be, "Never mind." The cramps got worse and his body began to make all the usual noises you'd expect from a bad comedy. Thats when he remembered his abduction... he was on his way home from lunch... at Burritoville! He couldn't hold it much longer and he realized no one around here was going to help him. Before he had the chance to drop his pants, he erupted like mount Vesuvius until was dribbling out his pant legs.
"THE LORD ZUEL IS PLEASED!!!" the man shouted.
"Not meaning to rain on your parade," Jim said, "but do you have any extra..." he looked at the man's loincloth. Jim had just soiled the only pair of pants in the village.
"We shall give you one of the blessed robes that you once gave to us!" the man said, calling a man to bring the robe. When he returned it was with a deep brown loincloth. Having nothing else to wear, Jim took it.
Once it was on, he heard a sound like water being spilled, and looked down realizing he had made the noise. "Uhm... did you say blessed robe?" he asked trying to keep his cool.
"Yes, they give the wearer eternal animal freedom that cannot be taken away! Forever will the wearer defecate and make water without ever having to stop." That's when Jim began to poop again, as well as pee uncontrollably, and he continued to do so without any sign of stopping. Animal freedom that cannot be taken away. This wasn't reversible. He would be endlessly shitting and pissing himself for the rest of his life!
Jim suddenly woke up in a cold sweat. It had all been a dream. A horrible, disgusting dream. He got up and out of bed, trying to remember what had happened. He'd gotten a call telling him to go to some place on Cajole street, and then fallen right back to sleep. He was about to put some clothes on to get ready for the day to come when he noticed something strange. Adult diapers in his underwear drawer, along with a noticeable lack of underwear. Jim shat himself in alarm only to realize he was already wearing one.
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