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Re:Back to The Beginning (1 viewing) (1) Guests
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TOPIC: Re:Back to The Beginning
JayTee (User)
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Back to The Beginning 5 Years, 3 Months ago Karma: 2  
this is a draft of a story i am working on not quite polished and about half finished but I hope some people here could give me some constructive criticism it is about a jealous little sister who gets revenge on her big sis it contains diapers and embarrassment...

The beginning
  Alison was very jealous of her big sister, the annoyingly perfect head cheerleader and overachiever who was always the center of her parent's attention. Alison, although a straight A student and something of a science genius, was often overshadowed by her big sister’s accomplishments at her various extracurricular activities. Alison knew she just had to do something for her parent’s attention, that was when she discovered a new method to make people younger with a youth potion, and she knew just who to test it on. Alison smiled as she put a dosage into one of Josie’s sports bottles before she finished her morning run. Alison smirked as Josie returned from her run, fatigued and thirsty as usual. As she finished her sports bottle with a satisfied gulp, Josie suddenly felt a burning sensation, which came as suddenly as it went. Thinking nothing of it, Josie walked up the stairs, not noticing that her jogging clothes felt a bit loose.

  Everything escaped Josie’s notice until she saw herself in the mirror, gone were her luscious breasts as she saw a high school freshman in the mirror not the sophomore she had been before. Josie freaked out, this had to be a dream, but she screamed in horror as she realized she was still growing younger. Alison laughed as she watched it all on her computer, hearing her sister’s screams in real-time. Josie freaked as her breasts literally retracted into two pink dots as her sports bra now hung on her reduced form. Her horror multiplied as she reached grade-school, her shorts and panties puddled around her legs. The changes accelerated after she reached kindergarten as she lost more and more height when she approached her first birthday the changes started to slow as she was no longer losing years, but months. Josie fell to her rump as her now stubby legs were no longer strong enough for her to stand on. Josie realized that to her horror she peed a little, a small puddle forming on the floor. Josie examined her small body looking at her hands to see her chubby digits, she looked down to see a flat chest and a chubby tummy as she kicked her tiny legs under her top. As her screams became the whaling cries of an infant, Josie saw the shadow or her sister Alison in the door.

Alison smiled, “well looks like the potion worked a little too well, didn’t it? Your what 8 months old?” she said laughingly.

  Josie felt drool puddle on her chest as she looked looked up in horror at Alison, her little sister, who now appeared to be a giant as she felt herself being hoisted up in her arms. She couldn’t believe this was happening to her, Alison had actually somehow turned her into a baby. Alison then proceeded to lay her down on a table as she slid a diaper under her Josie's tiny rump, before powdering her and affixing the tapes causing Josie to fuss a bit as she tried to remove it with her small stubby fingers.
“Don’t worry about alerting mom about this with the spell I cast as far as she and everyone else is concerned you have always been a little baby, looks like I am finally out of your shadow, bitch,” Alison said smiling
  It was then that Josie got an idea to get even with Alison, as her mom came into the room she smiled “mama!”

“Thanks for taking care of your little sister” she said as she took Josie into her arms.

Josie smiled as her mother held her over her shoulder, giving her a perfect view of Alison’s slack-jawed _expression_ as she walked away Josie smiled at Alison, gigging as her mom cooed her and played peek-a-boo. She could see Alison looking on with jealously that she was still the center of attention, she smiled as she stuck her tongue out.

“Mom Josie stuck her tongue out at me,” Alison said “its OK Alison honey she is just a baby she doesn’t know” she said as Josie giggled.

  For being turned into a baby, Josie was having a great day, she was the center of attention and as a bonus her mom waited on her hand and foot whenever she needed anything.
“Maybe being a baby isn’t so bad” she thought to herself as she nuzzled against her mom while Alison sulked in her room finding it unbelievable that her plan backfired so completely. All was going well until lunchtime while Alison munched on her salad, Josie was carried into another room, where her mother took a small bottle of a bottle warmer. Josie looked at the bottle’s nipple in a mixed state of panic and hunger as her mother probed her lips with the nipple. She tried to avoid it but in the end to her horror Josie found herself nursing from the bottle at a rapid pace as she enjoyed the sweet formula.

  Josie was dejected as her mom carried her out of the room before setting her in her highchair and going to get her her baby food.
“not so fun being a baby anymore isn't ist Josie?” Alison said giggling at her sister confined to her highchair. Josie cried loudly in response, prompting her mom to come pick her up and comfort her as she set the baby food on the tray. As Josie was being held by her mother she somehow felt safe and comfortable as she was placed in her highchair, a bib placed around her neck as she was spoon-fed the sweet apple sauce. After eating spoonful after spoonful her mother wiped off her face then took her bib off. Josie felt very tired all of a sudden as her mother was washing the dishes, she nodded off in her comfortable highchair.

  Several hours later, Josie awoke in her room staring at the ceiling, Had it all been a dream? As she got up she realized she was behind wooden bars, gone were her posters, and up were pictures of cartoon characters, a quick inspection revealed her fingers were still small and stubby. And she was still topless. As she pulled herself up into a sitting position she felt something squishing along with some discomfort. Oh no, she thought, as she suddenly realized she wet her diaper, causing her to cry loudly as she reached for the crib railing to pull herself into a standing position. Alison came running to check,

“Aww did baby Josie wet her little diapey?,” Alison teased, as Josie’s face grew red.
“Sorry Josie, mom isn’t here I am watching you while she is at the store, Can it wait?,” she said.

It was then that Josie stopped crying for a bit as she felt her bowels apply pressure as she grunted, hearing a few muffled farts as a warm semi-solid mass spread into the back of her diaper causing it to droop even further. She smiled and drooled as she felt waves of pleasure. She put her thumb in her mouth causing her to lose balance from her standing position against the crib rails and fall on her diapered rump. As she felt the mess spread it was then that she was hit with the realization that she just pooped her diaper right in front of her sister, causing her to scream and cry at the discomfort which sent Alison running.

  Her discomfort lifted, Josie smirked as the smell hit Alison as she scrunched up her nose.
  “looks like baby Josie is stinky,” she said in giggly singsong as she patted Josie’s diapered rump causing the mess to spread.
Josie grew red with embarrassment, as Alison turned off the lights in the nursery as she went into the other room. Josie sat there dejected as she was forced to wallow in her thick messy diaper.
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Last Edit: 2014/10/11 18:12 By JayTee.
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RegressingAger (User)
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Re:Back to The Beginning 5 Years, 3 Months ago Karma: 7  
This is good stuff JayTee that seems to be in line with your signature _style_ of age regression, I liked it for the most part. Your writing and grammar seem to be ok, at least for a rough draft for a story. You have the foundation for a great age regression story but I have couple of issues that keep your story from being truly something.

For one, how does a youth potion alter reality? I know it can seem like a non-issue but there should be some logic behind how your regression takes place. You also seem to gloss over the who and what behind your characters. We know Allison motives in regressing her sister and usurping her place within the family as the older sister but we don't even know how old Allison is or how being a super genius affects her relationship with the family.

To put it simply, it's all about believability. The same can be said for Josie. We don't really get any real impression of who Josie is and how she interacts with her sister before her regression despite the fact that most of the story is from her point of view. We also don't get any real character out of their mother besides typical mother attributes which is a shame since you could use her to work off your two protagonists.

And and all, I think your story can really benefit from some better pacing, something that's not really a factor in captions. Take your time with building your story and the characters that inhabit it, Josie's regression will be made all the more enjoyable if you allow her some development and give us some more chemistry between all the characters. You have several movements perfect for this already in place.

Good luck on the rest of your story, I really enjoyed your other longer story about the military woman who was regressed by the alien artifact but I was also disappointed in its shortcomings similar to this story. I hope you'll continue to write age regression stories, you have a knack that could really become something if you put some time into it.

By the way was that alien story lost in the crash? You should repost it if you can, maybe you should even consider rewriting parts of it. It's a neat premise that could really be explored.
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Last Edit: 2014/06/23 05:54 By RegressingAger.
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